If you have ever found yourself looking within yourself (attempting to assess what you need from an insider’s perspective, while recognizing that at that moment you sense you are an outsider to your own self) then you might have concluded that, on more than one occasion, you may not know what you need because how can you be inside and be objectively outside yourself.
How can I give up something I love? It’s all I know, right? Do I want to let go of something I have loved? No, I can’t let go!
However, a quantum leap can occur when you learn to change the phrasing to say, “How can I let go of something I have found frustrating, debilitating, painful, and hateful?”
This will allow you to shift from a frame of entrapment to one of permission – permission to accept the notion that maybe it is okay to “let go” of the past and not shame the identity that was so profoundly attached to you. You can accept your perceived known identity and integrate it with what has not yet been developed. You can feel frustrated, painful, hurt, and angry at a life that did not bring lasting happiness, without causing shame and hate upon your core self.
And so, how can this shift bring a sense of comfort within your soul? Honestly, it may not. However, it may. Each of us is unique, and we each must look inward to look outward, or vice-versa; in order to find what can enable our own movement towards healing. What is helpful for me is to write down my thoughts. As they become written, I become clearer as to my thoughts. But words that remain on paper can fade as time passes. So, for me, I need to speak them outwardly, not just inwardly. My friends listen, and in conversation, my thoughts can be accepted, stretched, or understood. I like to process inside and outside.
Dr Surya M Ganduri, PhD. PMP. is the Founder & President of eMBC, Inc., an international firm specializing in strategic and executive leadership development processes that Help People Succeed in an Evolving World. Dr Surya has over 28 years of business experience in management consulting, leadership development, executive coaching, process improvements, organizational development and youth leadership. For more information visit www.eMBCinc.com or contact eMBC, Inc., directly at (630) 445-1321.