It is clear, the object is to be of help when called upon, be it a professional or personal nature. As in the case of personal, there are often times when a friend calls for help and the help comes in the form of silence and simply standing by the friend rather than any particular action. In this way the life lesson is very much that of the person in need, except, they also have the love of a friend standing next to them, in support of whatever the choice becomes.
My statement earlier that I did not want to let my friend down pertained more to a need to the importance of that relationship, as clearly we both treasured it. I wanted to convey that our friendship means a lot to me. Also I wanted to let her know that she could count on my strength, in whatever form it may take. Sometimes it has been a silent presence, just holding her hand and other times it is throwing a mirror up to her face (metaphorically speaking), showing her the harsh reality of life. I would not abandon her in her time of need.
In my view, however, all we can really do for someone in need is evaluate the best course of action, take it with dedication and commitment even if it is in silent support no matter who makes the ultimate decision or what comes out of it. At the core of this is then trust and the trust between real friends is indeed mighty.
Secondly, about this being a life lesson and an opportunity for her to grow… In fact, we have now reached the ‘tough love’ phase where I am kicking her butt to get in gear and start living again instead of just surviving. She needs this in order to be strong and truly live again. I can see her pain and suffering today though and that is tough to watch. I have gone through what I termed ‘a living nightmare’, and I would have gladly avoided the experience at the time even if it meant losing out on the life lessons learned. Using the term unfortunately just means she has to do it, and I can’t lie to her and tell her it will be easy. Sometimes life is just hard and that is the unfortunate part. There will come a time, probably a few years from now, where she will look back and know she grew and became a stronger person because of her crisis, but that day is not today.
I think, a dialogue like this is very valuable for us all to learn and grow ourselves.
Dr Surya M Ganduri, PhD. PMP. is the Founder & President of eMBC, Inc., an international firm specializing in strategic and executive leadership development processes that Help People Succeed in an Evolving World. Dr Surya has over 28 years of business experience in management consulting, leadership development, executive coaching, process improvements, organizational development and youth leadership. For more information visit www.eMBCinc.com or contact eMBC, Inc., directly at (630) 445-1321.